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Welcome to XIIMO'S LIFE DIARY
Wednesday, July 21, 2010Y
why?.

i just went to check the mailbox.
i was surprised there was one letter adressed to me.
when i opened it and read it's contents,
tears started rolling down my face.

i don't know why?
it just seems stupid enough.
even if i was over you
a long time ago
of all people, why
YOU?





THIS LETTER
received : 21/07/2010


킴숭혜,

are you doing well?
Aren't you sick?
i worry about you; without me.
i hope that you eat well even when you are busy,
bundle up when it's cold,
and live strongly without crying.

one day in 2009
(i won't tell you when)
i held a pen thinking about you.
how long has it been?4 years it seems.
wondering who you would call to walk you home ,
morning and night.

i wrote letters that cannot be sent to you.
i worry again today if you are eating well
i care about you
i think about you

24 / 7 gwihaneun hangsang nae ma-eumsog-e neulin

even though i know i shouldn't be doing this.
i write about this heart that will never reach you.

i worry too much, aren't i?
i am talking to much, aren't i?
i'm only telling you things just like a habit.

i keep seeing your images of tears, so everyday is difficult.
Why didn't i realise how precious you are back then?
Why was i numb when love was coming to me,
but missing it now after it's gone?

i didn't know and appreciate when you are right beside me
because i was a foolish man
because i was a stupid man

i used the distance as an excuse i never should have

i only realised after you left.

Those 3 years, i gave you a hard time didn't i?


i'm so sorry.
i'll let you go now.
please meet someone good and happy
i believe that you'll do just fine ; i know you will
i don't want to stain your smiling pictures with my tears

so today,

i keep on smiling


please do take care of yourself.
i'll always be there , somehow
watching over you.


Forever waiting





**************************


idiot,
i closed the letter, placed it aside.
my visions closing in on me.

Fooliish. idiot. buggard.

i mumbled
waste of your time


and a tear rolled down my cheek.
and i laughed,


Thank You.
i will promise,
i won't look back.



heart blue w/ glitter 3:07 AM